I really need to get back into journaling/blogging on a regular basis. God really uses my writing to speak to me and reveal himself to me, and yet I hardly ever take the time to sit down and write.
The Lord has really placed on my heart the need to spend more time meditating on Psalm 139. The Lord knows everything about me-the good and the bad. That is sometimes a scary thought, but at the same time, very comforting, humbling, and amazing. I am seriously in awe that God chooses to love me in spite of my wretched sinful nature-my prideful heart, my arrogant attitude, my laziness, my selfishness, and my sometimes blatant disregard for his commandments and will for my life. Why would the Lord choose to save me and love me? It's humbling to think about.
To be a recipient of his grace, to know that I am forever spared from the fires of hell should continually fill me with praise and thanksgiving...so why doesn't it? Because I'm proud; because I can sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that I'm a good person; that I deserve to receive good things from the Lord. That couldn't be further from the truth. I don't deserve anything. There is nothing good in me apart from the Lord. The fact that he chose me to be one of his own for eternity is amazing and I should be living my life daily in such a way which reflects my thanksgiving and praise for that.